#13 - The Human Library Experience - A memoir

I was both curious & introverted right from my childhood. I always ask a lot of questions. You may think how curiosity & introvertedness can coexist. Yes, I'm the living example. When I'm curious I don't care about what others think of me. So during my old job in Chennai, I loved the job so much and never cared about money, what others thought of me, I would just be myself there. So I easily talk with others even with people from other teams. Even in the first meeting I used to talk for so long. Rather than being colleagues I feel them as more of friends. With most people I had long hours of conversations even in the late nights too.

But after shifting to Bengaluru for work last year, I felt a drastic transition. I am more of a nature person, but I feel people here are more away from nature. I may be wrong too. And all is money here imho. Everything revolves around money. I am not saying money is bad or something, money is ultimately very very essential in every people’s lives. But I am just trying hard to adapt to this system. Even though these are bothering me, there are so many good things that I like about Bengaluru, and the major one is “Diversity”. We could see a lot of people from different cultures & different states, speaking different languages. I closely observe people & I am so wondering about how people with different thoughts, traditions, ideologies can coexist. But back in my hometown there is a lot of hustle & bustle even within a single language. This widened my horizon.

So, in my workplace, I just do my work, I talk with very few people. I don't even make eye contact with most people either. I am very hesitant to open up a new conversation. I feel very inferior here. My self worth was declining a lot. So I took a resolution this year to be more open & come out of my comfort zone. I was trying real hard to open up & I am progressing gradually at a very slow pace. I am working on myself even with my anxiety & nervousness. I learnt from social media that there are many social events happening in Bengaluru to meet strangers & open up. I have seen many of them in Bookmyshow too. But was not actually ready for that. Then one day randomly while I was going through the events section in Bookmyshow, I happened to see “Human Library”. This name itself hooked me, then I read the description & it mentioned it's their anniversary edition. So I felt like now I am ready, this is the one I should go to. Booked it right away. 

And the day finally came, I started off in my cycle & reached the venue at around 1:45 itself and checked inside the cafe. And they said its not happening here, maybe the venue might be changed. So I got anxious if it is Koramangala, should I go or just skip the event. Then I contacted the organiser and actually he was there too right behind me. I shook hands and went inside and sat there on one of the chairs. As time passed people started to fill the seats, and many were very outspoken & I think they already knew each other from previous editions. Everyone started talking. In every table conversation started. And then I can hear the talking sound getting louder. I don't know what to do, I was just scrolling through my phone. And then a lady came and sat near my table, I didn't greet or wish her, I was just sitting there scrolling my phone. Then I was thinking okay, maybe this is how the event goes, we need to talk but was still hesitant. But she started the conversation with, is this the first time you are attending & how do you get to know this event, and what do you do - kind of questions. Then we were having a conversation for a few minutes, and this conversation really eased me and made me feel a little calm & less anxious. Then at around 2:30 PM. The actual event started with the organiser Sahil introduced himself & explained the itenary of the event. The first is a small self intro about each person and one mandatory question to be answered is “Your favourite travel destination”. Everybody answered sitting. When my turn came I just stood up as I was sitting a little behind, so that everyone could see me. I introduced myself and I didnt have any fav travel destination in particular, I instead said my favourite movie is “12 Angry men”. Then each person was assigned with numbers & split into 4 groups. And in my group we had 5 people whose names I vaguely remember. There was a travel guy, an amazon sde intern guy, a Tamil psychology student, and a girl who  said Karnanta as a highly unexplored tourist destination for its diverse terrains. 

We introduced ourselves once again and small chits of papers with prompts were given. The first question is like “ What is the one thing that you would change about in this world”. I always had thoughts on changing many things but suddenly nothing popped into my mind. And one said she would change the education system all over the world. And another guy said he would want people to be treated equally not based on caste, religion, race, language etc. From his point I got a thought of a Director Ram’s interview clip that “We shouldn't judge people, we should just try to understand them from their perspective.” I told this quote & I would make people live by this quote & have a better understanding of people & accepting them as they are. While telling this I didn't make proper sentences & got stuck due to anxiety. Then the travel guy talked about changing people from not putting waste in public places. He always carries a garbage bag wherever he travels to put his waste. Now the psychologist told that she would bring regular breaks for healthcare professionals as they need to recharge & refresh themselves. This round was interesting to me like each person said from their lived experiences, from their difficulties faced personally. This was a good start.

Then the second question is like “What is that one gift that you gave yourself last year”. The girl said she gifted herself her a new job, and the other said last year wasnt that good to him, so nothing much he gifted himself. Then my turn came, I just told them, “When I heard of this word gift, I hadn't gifted myself last year but I compiled a book named “The gift” and I took it out from my bag and everyone was really surprised about it. And everyone had a look at it. One said this was a mic drop moment. And I talked about why & how I made this. This book is not for sale only made for gifting purpose. And one said it was a really thoughtful gift. I felt really good because of their genuine happiness. The other guy was also told last year went pretty rough for him. Then this girl said that she wouldn't go out & have not explored much since her childhood, so from last year she started exploring places & events in Bengaluru & finally said that's how I landed here. She also told she is open to new things & It was eye opening thing to know because due to my hesitation I may have missed many opportunities & life experiences. So these words gave me courage to be open to situations even though feeling fear & thinking I am being imperfect.

Now the next question is “What are the things that you want to collect”. The travel guy said he wants to collect souvenirs from all places he visits. The other guy told a really heartfelt story of him collecting Raaki from his 6 cousin sisters

every year since childhood. I said I want to have a DVD collection of all the best world movies like the one Director Anurag Kashyap has and a large library book section like the one Director Myskin has. Then this girl told us she wants to collect swords & knives, and the anime ones. Then another girl said she wanted to collect wine bottles without wine for their aesthetic beauty.

Then the next question is what gives you happiness. Which is a very vague question. One told us that she loves to go on the BMTC bus with her headphones on while listening to music. It gives her immense happiness. I don't know what to say about what gives me happiness. To say it, I have to tell my personal story which is a little lengthy but in a brief manner. I started to tell this story & I could see people were losing interest because what I was saying is not relevant to the question and towards the end I connected my story with that question and all resonated so well with it and even encouraged me for it. One said this conversation peaked here man and said “you are an enterprising person man, I'm glad to be part of this group”. I felt really happy & felt heard there in that group. The other girl told her happiness is her mom’s food & she told that she misses it now.

Then as a next session, another group was also merged with us and this time the question would be from a topic that the majority of people chose from various topics and the majority was Movies & Web Series. The first question in this section is “What is the best ending of a movie, book or a series you have liked the most ?” One said the ending of “Casablanca”, the other said the ending of “The office Series”, “The Dark knight rises” ending, “Shutter Island” ending. I talked about “12 Angry men” and one lady professor knew about it & she was resonating so well. She also talked about the movie “Exam”.

Then the next question is “What movie character would you want to be in real life”. One answered Bruce Wayne and a character from a K-Drama “It's okay to be not okay”. One said the girl from “about time”. Likewise I told HuckleBerry Finn from “Adventures of Tom Sawyer”. Many told many characters like the one from “The Office”, “Famous five”. One told he wants to be in a Shah Rukh Khan movie. 

Now the next question is “One favourite Song”. Many told many songs and What I felt interesting was this girl who told about her 3AM playlist which consists of 2 songs one is from “Taare Zameen Par” & other is “Chikni Chameli”. Yes, it's 2 contrasting genres & moods. Then she shared her personal story about her childhood crush and she started blushing. Then I told 2 songs of AR Rahman “Kun Faya Kun” and “Khwaja meri Khawaja”, I dont understand those lyrics but feel something good when hearing it. And one told those are sufi songs. And another person said a poem ik hindi of Farhan Akthar from “Zindagi Na milengi dobra”. The travel guy said about a Sitar Sensation “Rishabh Rikhiram” and his mental health playlist.

Then the next session is a drawing session from “Anyone can draw” I guess. We were given post cards with a outline drawing of famous paintings and we have to colour it with color pencils or water colors. I took a postcard & started to color it. It felt like my inner child was so happy while drawing, though I am not good with drawing yet I enjoyed the process & here is the snap of that drawing.

I saw few postcards and some were really good and all were very happy taking pictures of it. I could feel their inner child being happy. 

Then we came to the last session a singing & jamming session. Two people came I didnt know their names, the one with a guitar & other who sings. They both were really awesome, they sang hindi songs, it was so soothing. The only song I know from what they sang is “O Rey piya” of Madhuri Dixit I guess. I loved how with only a guitar & just voice we can have a film like music. I wish these guys reach greater heights in their respective fields. 

And atlast I spoke with few people & went back home really feeling happy and confident. Today I tried something new out of my comfort zone. Thanks to the organisers for creating this kind of event. The main key take aways from this event is just be yourself & no one is gonna judge you. Even if they judge its their problem & not yours. You are just growing at your own pace imperfectly like a ECG curve. 

Thank you for reading till here patiently.

Peace.☮️😇

Senthil Rajan V